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We were in limbo, both immersed in work, realising just how much we had to do to catch up. We drank enough wine to make us cheerful and I ate enough to make me welcome the walk back to Polly's, holding hands. We'd sat with Polly, Arthur, Barbara and Michael for a while, talking about the little domestic triumphs and disasters of the day.Robert and I had kissed goodnight at the front door, casually, trying not to excite, but the tension underneath had been crackling. The oddest limbo.Barbara had come into my room and talked. She was kind and gentle too. Encouraging me. I'd poured out my heart about Robert and we'd cried together. She was inquisitive about what was in plan for my 'wedding night'. When I told her that there didn't seem to be anything special in plan, she'd looked at me oddly, saying that it didn't sound like Robert to let me down over something like that.And I'd worked. It was an enormous relief to find I could work again. No nagging distractions, uncertainties. I was. It's okay if you hate it and I don't even mind if you cry. Hell! That turns me on, too. But I'm not going to keep threatening you. I am, however, going to punish you. You are soon going to understand why you want to do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it. Now get your ass over here."I went over and stood in front of him. I think that I had finally reached the point of total surrender. I knew he was right. Now, in addition to the fun and games he already had on his dirty little mind he was going to do something even worse to punish me. I may be blonde, but I'm not stupid. If you beat me long enough I'm going to figure out that I don't like getting beaten and I'll stop doing whatever it is that led to the beating. Or at least I'll try. I suppose that the punishment could be so horrific that I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was best not to think about that. I will have to keep reminding myself that I have no choice. My body no longer belongs to me.Jeff pulled his wet.
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